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Spin Experts Telstra, At It Again

With more than a little space-age chutzpah, Telstra is trumpeting that it is about to launch “the fastest phone in the Galaxy”.

Ahem. The galaxy that Earth – and Telstra – is in, as the very reliable Prof. Brian Cox would tell you, is the Milky Way, which spans some 120,000 light years and contains at least 400 billion stars, many of which have planets – and some of which, for all Telstra knows, have life and perhaps telephone or other communications systems that outdo Telstra’s best.

However even if this proves to be true, it seems unlikely that Telstra will get a challenge from the other side of the Milky Way for many millennia.

In fact Telstra is being a little coy with its heading. The Galaxy it’s referring too may not be the Milky Way but the Samsung Galaxy 8 mobile gadget which Telstra along with other telcos is attempting to flog to us earthlings.

Telstra’s claim is that a few buyers of the S8 from Telstra stores may be able to “stream and surf at unprecedented smartphone speeds” – as long as they happen to be in “selected” but unspecified areas where the latest Telstra 4GX technology is operating.

“Customers in 4GX coverage areas can look forward to download speeds up to 50 percent faster than those available on the next fastest smartphone,” quoth Andrew Volard, Telstra’s director of devices in a media release.

Exactly how fast? It’s unclear but top speeds are limited to a 1km radius from the centre of the CBD areas in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane”. Rest of the galaxy? No go, at this stage, but stay posted.

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